How can you still get a big hit of happy brain chemicals on Halloween when you’re a grown-ass adult and your neighbors frown upon your door-to-door treat-begging? Well, you can eat a shit ton of candy (completely valid) or you can get some dopamine happening another way: With some truly stellar/inventive/possibly alarming Halloween sex.
“It’s my favorite of all seasons. There’s candy, dressing up, and it’s the perfect time to play the Special Occasion Sex card,” says Ruby Payne, Pro-Domme and Sexpert for sex toy retailer UberKinky. “Halloween is the best time to spice things up and experiment in some weird and wonderful positions and some truly terrifying role play. Bonus points if you fancy dressing up and pretending to be someone else whilst you play.”
If you go hard and deep on your holidays, we’ve so got you. For the dressing up bit, here are: 52 (!) cheap costumes you can easily DIY, 35 scary costumes to scare the (non-literal, hopefully) shit out of people, 45 possibly funny costumes, lots of pop culture costumes and even group costumes bc safety in numbers. (Oh yes, there are even more.) We’ve got a Halloween make-up tutorial, date ideas, and Halloween party ideas (plus a playlist).
Now, use these positions as your inspo for some spooky-good Halloween sex.
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The Six Feet Under
“It’s like the original wheelbarrow except for the partner that would be standing is seated on the edge of the bed,” says relationship coach Carmel Jones. “This one is not for the faint of heart or anyone with shoulder issues! But it does allow for very deep penetration at an unfamiliar and tantalizing angle.”
“For fans of sexual objectification and/or erotic humiliation, it could be deeply exciting to cover their entire head and face with a bed sheet while fucking or getting fucked,” says Kate Sloan, sex educator and author of the forthcoming book 101 Kinky Things Even You Can Do. (Obviously, consent beforehand is huge here.) “This plays into a fantasy some people have about being ignored or invisible during sex, which can feel thrillingly degrading or objectifying. It also achieves a similar effect as wearing a blindfold: increasing the sensitivity of other senses by reducing or eliminating eyesight. Perfect for getting kinky or spooky or both!”
The Moaning Zombie
“Take your oral sex game to the next level with a standing 69 position,” says Payne. “Have your partner sit with their legs slightly bent apart as you get into position with your ass in their face. Straddle your legs outside of theirs and lean all the way down until you reach their crotch. Vagina or penis, this position gives some serious access to all areas, even a spot of ass-rimming if you’re into that kind of thing.”
The Trick or Treat
Are you gonna get a gentle hand and a buzzy vibe pressed against you or are you gonna get the sharp smack of a hand on your ass? The anticipation will keep you incredibly attuned to what’s happening. Bend over a bed and have your partner toy with your senses by alternating pleasure and pain. (Or torture them instead. Your rules.)
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Bobbing for Apples
Put (or tie) your wrists behind your backs and take turns giving each other hands-free oral. See how many different kinds of pleasure you can provide with sucking, licking, gentle nibbles, tongue swirls or rapid taps. If you want to include some power play, have your partner hold your wrists and instruct you what to do.
The Fun Size Candy Bar
If you have a partner with a penis and you want to maximize their size, press your legs tightly together inside theirs during missionary for a snugger feel for both of you. Tilt your pelvis up and down so you can rub your clit against their shaft and pubic bone. Good things ~do~ come in small packages.
The Vampire’s Kiss
Lean back against a kitchen counter, wrap your leg around your partner, and throw your head back to reveal a much underappreciated erogenous zone: your neck. Grab their butt, squeeze, and pull them in deeper while they kiss and suck your bare neck. Cape optional (but let’s be real: highly recommended).
For deeeeep penetration, sit on your partner’s lap, facing away with your hands in front of you for support. Match their thrusts. It’s like doggy but howlingly feral.
The Bewitching Bat
Lie on your back with your legs spread and knees bent. Your partner puts their hands together, bending their ring and middle fingers toward their palms. They slide their two pointer fingers inside of you and circle your clit with two thumbs. They move their fingers kinda like bat wings, you orgasm, everybody wins.
The Power Play
You’re already wearing the costumes, so bust out the role-play. Try an imbalance of power, like a villain capturing a superhero or a private investigator having dirt on someone really bad. Coordinate your costumes ahead of time so you rock the halloween party AND the bedroom. Knowing the fun you’ll have later makes the house party before basically foreplay!
The Sugar Rush
Let your partner go trick-or-treating on your body by putting tiny dollops of flavored lube wherever you want their mouth. (New flavored options are waaay better than the gross strawberry of yore and come in dessert-y/coffeehouse flavors like tiramisu.) Pick a condom-and-toy-safe lube (aka a water-based one) and you can take it further if you want.
Trick Or(al) Treat
Put candy into service as a BJ enhancer. Pop something smooth and round like Skittles, Reese’s Pieces, or M&M’s onto your tongue, and hold them against the underside of their shaft as you slide your mouth up and down. (You can also use something minty or cinnamon-y if they’re into more intense sensations. But ask first—not everyone appreciates surprise spice.) Use your tongue to roll them around the head or wiggle them against the frenulum. Wrap a Red Vine or a strip of Laffy Taffy around the base of their shaft for a makeshift cock ring, then nibble it away (carefully!).
Sit their ass down in a wide chair and climb up so you’re facing them, putting your feet on the chair on either side of their bum. Wrap your arms loosely around their shoulders and let them appreciate the gorgeous visuals. Mix it up with long, sweet kisses and opening and shutting your knees as you see fit.
The Twizzler Tie-Up
Go off-label with a pack of Twizzlers or some candy rope, tying a string of them to bind your partner’s wrists together. Straddle them, holding their wrists down to remind them who’s in charge (obvi, get consent before you go all BDSM on them). When you’re ready to allow them to touch you, just munch it off. Sex + convenient mid-bonin’ snack = amazing.
The Cave Crave
Time to make that bed rock. Your partner lifts your butt in a very primal, need-you-now way, in a position that lets you both stroke whatever needs to be stimulated while gazing lustfully at each other. Try it by candlelight for some extra fire.
The Warlock’s Brew
Let your partner enchant you via penis magic with a wicked 90-degree twist on missionary. As they thrust, circle your hips so it’s like they’re stirring your cauldron, double-doubling your orgasms.
The Broomstick Ride
Have your partner lie on a narrow sturdy surface, like a coffee table. Plant your feet on either side of the table and mount them facing their feet in a sort of elevated reverse-cowgirl. Cast a spell over both of y’all by propping your hands on their legs and bending forward, leaning back, or tilting your pelvis to switch up the sensations. Circle your hips like you’re stirring a cauldron for some extra hocus pocus.
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