Health and Fitness

28 Best Strap-Ons and Harnesses for Every Kind of Play in 2022: Lovehoney, Babeland, Lelo, Ella Paradis, Amazon

Finding the best strap-on for you is like finding Goldilocks’s porridge: It’s a bit tricky to get one that’s just right. As with any sex toy, your and your partner’s personal tastes will determine how much you’ll enjoy the strap-on. You want a harness that fits comfortably and feels secure and a dildo that looks and feels great for whoever is on the receiving end of the strap-on. 

Whether you’re new to strap-on sex or not, navigating the many, many options between harnesses and dildos can be overwhelming. To help you decide which strap-on to take for a spin, we rounded up a mix of reviewer favorites, recommendations from sex educators, online best-sellers, and picks from people who actually use them. Before we dive into the products themselves, here’s what you need to know about buying a strap-on.

How to start shopping for a strap-on

When buying a strap-on, you’re typically buying two things: a harness and a dildo. You’ll often find beginner kits that include both to streamline the buying process, which can be excellent and affordable starter options. On the other hand, choosing a harness and a dildo separately can mean matchmaking the best fit for your preferences, since there are several factors to consider for each.

For this article we included both combo kits and individual harnesses. (Dildos are another article entirely.)

If you decide to go the mix-and-match route, your sex-toy store will likely suggest dildos to pair with your harness. But Babeland sex educator Lisa Finn suggests that sexual partners split the decision. “If you’re shopping for a strap with a specific partner in mind, here’s my advice: The top picks the harness, the bottom picks the dildo,” Finn tells SELF. That way everyone is comfortable with the strap-on as a whole. She notes that some strap-on wearers may want a say in the look of the dildo to ensure they’re comfortable with it in terms of gender expression, but the person receiving should have the final say in terms of size and texture.

For people who are more vers or switch, meaning that they enjoy both giving and receiving, Finn suggests a mix-and-match whereby everyone has their favorite harnesses and dildos.

What to look for in a strap-on

Style

According to Ashley Cobb, founder and host of Sex With Ashley and sex-toy reviewer, harnesses typically come in three main styles: jockstrap, thong, and underwear. “[Jockstraps] look like a classic jockstrap, with straps around the waist and over each butt cheek,” she tells SELF. “Thongs have a strap around the waist and a strap that goes between the legs and between the butt cheeks. Underwear looks like a pair of underwear or boxers.” There are also less common styles, like thigh, chin, or chest harnesses; suspender harnesses; or strapless strap-ons, which require no harnesses at all.

These less common styles may be good options for people concerned about gender dysphoria. “Some people like thigh harnesses specifically because they want hands-free play but really don’t want to think of the dildo as any kind of phallic object, and having it mounted on their pubis isn’t something they vibe with,” Carol Queen, PhD, staff sexologist at Good Vibrations, tells SELF. Consider how your strap-on (both harness and dildo) will agree with your gender expression.





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