If you’re going to dabble in the esoteric, why not go for an area that basically gives you a personality cheat-sheet for everyone you’re obsessed with? The zodiac offers a kind of blueprint for understanding what might please a Pisces on their birthday, or make a Capricorn feel even more in control of their destiny.
If you’re new to the zodiac, take the following astral smorgasbord as an easy way to shop for a gift that will feel specific, but not in a weird way; a present that will really slap, because you contain infinite wisdom from the stars and know that Njoy does, in fact, make one of the best prostate toys out there for Sagittariuses. I mean, we’re the captains of our own ships or whatever, but you can’t tell me that every Leo doesn’t want a gold Casio watch, or that a Taurus won’t appreciate some high-quality kitchen goods. In fact, here’s an idea: Why not put together a group of presents by pulling gifts for your recipient’s sun, moon, and rising sign? It’ll sweep them off their little cloven feet.
N00bs and crystal lickers alike, welcome. Pull up that birth chart, and let’s whip out the universal magic carpet, thine credit card, in finding the best gifts for all zodiac signs.
Where did Aries go today? Cliff diving? Karaoke? Backpacking? As the resident ram of the zodiac, this sign charges horns first into adventures and Good Times, and often without looking ahead. Grab your Aries a checkered fanny pack from BAGGU, or a bandana print tote bag that says, “My other car is a pioneer wagon.”
In fact, go ahead and give Aries the perfect high-octane soundtrack with the Prodigy’s *chef’s kiss* iconic 1997 LP, The Fat of the Land. (This will especially speak to them if they have a sensi-passive-aggressive Cancer moon.)
Ah, the gourmands of the zodiac. Taurus appreciates the finer things in life, especially when they’re drizzled in truffle oil, given a nice garnish, or hail from a Japanese snack marketplace like Bokksu. Here’s an idea: Gift them a cake, and then gift them a reeeeeally solid knife for cutting it, such as this eight-inch, German steel blade by Imarku. It’s a consistent best-seller on Amazon, where it has a 4.7 rating, and is one of our editors’ favorites.
You could also present them with a set of dishwasher-safe steak knives from Laguiole (pronounced La-Yole), France, a region famous for its unparalleled blades with a little bee embellishment on the handle. They’ve been around since the ancient days of Saint-Jacques-de-Compostelle, during which spiritual pilgrims would carry them across rocky Aveyron. Anyways. They’re knives with real clout, construction, and deep history:
As one of the most pleasure-centered earth signs in the zodiac, Taurus will also appreciate a pair of cozy house slippers:
There’s so much to love about Gemini, because they come with about 26 alternate personalities in tow. They’re often creative, a little mischievous, and always a great plus one. Give them a disposable or polaroid camera for documenting all of the shenanigans they’ve so artfully arranged, and a set of picture frames for arranging their masterpieces.
Hiiiiiii. (Cancer here.) Tragically, you can’t gift us the gift of crawling back in the womb for mummy’s warmth and comfort. But you can get close, thanks to this embryonic sleep sack. Think of it as an alternative to a weighted blanket, which is a rad item if you like to feel gently crushed, but can also end up giving some people (hi again) more anxiety. No, I prefer feeling like an airtight dumpling, sitting pretty on the couch in my body bag. “I can easily get out of it if need be, but it is so much easier than trying to burrito wrap myself by myself,” writes one happy customer. “I love the deep pressure around my body, especially my torso and shoulders.”
As one of the most sensitive signs, a Cancer would also appreciate the all-natural body oil by the California brand Bathing Culture. Its dewy, earthy scent feels like getting a hug from all the woodland creatures at once:
Cancer is also proud to tend to hearth and home, and loves a personal project that lets them indulge in their caregiver nature, like a DIY mushroom grow kit. Each cap will become their baby.
The question is, “What time is it?” and the answer is, “Leo.” You almost don’t have to bother setting up the clock on this classic, shiny Casio. Leo will love it for the chunky, retro gold look, because they’re all about the bling. Peep our Leo specific gift guide for this fire sign if you need even more ideas for making them feel like the king of the world. It won’t be hard—they already do.
We can also see your lion sporting this golden ankh necklace by Black and Creme—especially if they have a Scorpio moon. Just look at that little snake coil.
If anyone is going to have leopard print Tom Ford underwear, it’s definitely a Leo. They’ll look great prowling around the house in this cotton set:
Leo is also, arguably, the most iconic fire sign, so they’ll also dig a personal fire pit for their home, such as this chic little number:
Thank goddess for Virgo, man. This sign swoops in every autumn with all the organizational, rational, back-to-school energy we need to start off fall on the right foot. Reach for well-made items that will help them run a tight ship. So, literally anything from the Danish angels at HAY. But we’ve got a full list of ideas here when it comes to gifts for Virgos, if you’re cruising for more ~*~options~*~.
Of course Virgo will appreciate the fine craftwork of the Fisher Space Pen, which was, according to Space Lore, the first pen designed to function in space:
As the resident sign of Getting Shit Done, your type-A Virgo could also use a little massage and bon voyage energy. This art print hits the perfect note between “breathe” and “book the flight already”; it feels intentional, relaxing, but focused. Just like them.
They’ll also appreciate a shower scalp massager, not only for its massage-and-bon-voyage energy, but because it kills two birds with one stone by exfoliating their scalp/applying product better in the shower, and relaxing them during steamy time.
It’s currently Libra season, my jabroni, which means we’ve cooked up an entire Libra guide dedicated to the most ~*~*aesthetic*~*~ of signs filled with flowers, art books, and other treasures that could please this air sign’s discerning eyeballs. But let’s be real. The thing a Libra loves to look at the most? Themself, through rose colored glasses—and this mirror is as close as one could get.
Now that it’s the season of piling on plushy blankets, Libra will also appreciate a duvet cover that looks like it was born with its own highlighter, and this beautiful velvet set is on sale in 13 earthy, gemstone colors.
If your Libra also loves to entertain, you know they’re going to do it with some gahgeous glassware, and this verdant Helle Mardhal coupe is a true work of blob-core art.
Look, Scorpio is hot, and has a very hot gift guide. No doubt about it. But they also have this one-note reputation as the dark/scary/sexy sign, when they have far more watery and sensitive depths. They’re passionate, good listeners, and waaaay more private than Gemini or Aries, which makes them far more trustworthy in my book. In fact, just get them a quality Moleskine notebook. (They never stop keeping score.) They will also be requiring Balenciaga-inspired sunglasses for keeping a low (but intimidating) profile.
Oh what the hell, give them a combo nipple-clamp-collar. They’ll love it.
As the hunter of the zodiac, Sagittarius is a straight-shooter and deserves fittingly intense Sag gift guide. They go big and go home with the game that they got, capiche? A lot of
water signs people misconstrue Sag energy as gregarious, which is fair. But they’re just out here being some of the most adventurous, try-anything-once hype men. Of course they’re going to love a multi-tasking, G-spot- and prostate-pleasing sex toy and a holographic cowboy hat beside their bed.
Sagittarius will also dig a Blade Runner-ready sports bra by MISBHV, a brand based out of Warsaw, Poland, that pulls inspiration from post-Soviet aesthetics and dynamic fabrics. Ideal for the gym or the clerb.
Given that they’re ready for adventure whenever the moment strikes, some tearaway sweats are also a great move:
Nothing but respect for my president. When Capricorn isn’t busy flagellating themselves for Not Being Good Enough, they’re looking for ways to further sharpen their tunnel vision for excellence. It’s an altruistic, often exhausting path, so get them a pair of sneakers and some of the best natural deodorant out there for the task. The new, unisex Hoka Bondis are will help them soar above the city streets…
… While this deodorant by Native is one of the best out there, lauded by deo-influencers as one of the best cruelty-free formulas:
Given that a Capricorn’s idea of fun is something beautiful and a little challenging, they’ll be up for the task of completing this 1,000-piece mushroom puzzle.
If you just made plans with Aquarius to do something, no you didn’t, because this sign has a max five-second attention span. Not that it’s their fault, mind you; Aquarius is just always trying to do 10 things at once, and has about a million little hobbies that capture their imagination. Find something that’ll hold their attention, like a great graphic novel by Daniel Clowes. They’ve probably already read Ghost World, so give them the comic book legend’s great psychedelic sci-fi love story, Patience. It’s such a thrilling read that they’ll have no choice but to finish it in one sitting.
If your Aquarius could use some fun, horny times, ball out on the Womanizer Duo. Not only is its vibration motion-sensored, so it only goes harder when you go harder, but it’s a one-person-jug-band toy for combined orgasms with an attachment for clitoral stimulation and G-spot-pleasing penetration. Aquarius will have sooo much to explore.
Because Aquarius is always ready to learn something new and crafty, they’re the ideal giftee for a tufting gun. Imagine the thrill of creating wavy, personalized bathmats on a whim? Amazing.
It was either this, or electric nipple clamps, because Pisces is definitely the secret freak of the zodiac that could give Scorpio a run for their money, and has a duality to them that could rival Gemini (hence, their emblem of the two fishes swimming in opposing directions). But, lord, are they powerful water babies with a lot of Big Feels. For that reason, they get to wring out their heart through the creative catharsis of a Shibori tie dye kit.
And if anyone could use a humidifying bath of essential oils, it’s Pisces. This ceramic porcelain ~vessel~ by Vitruvi is earthy in design (but watery in function), making it the perfect compliment to one of the most iconic water signs.
Pisces will always be down to amp up the feels, and Foria’s CBD-infused, all natural lubricant is designed to increase blood flow and relax the body. We gave it a try ourselves in the bedroom, and wowow.
LOL. You really thought we’d go there? Foolishness. If you insist, though…
Happy shopping ye astral babes, and good luck with those triple air signs.
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