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The Hottest Thing a Man Can Do Is Keep His Glasses on During Sex

When I was 17, I spent four blissfully horny months messing around with my then-boyfriend in the backseat of his mom’s Toyota Corolla for hours on end. One of the things I remember most vividly about those adventures in extended foreplay—like, probably more vividly than I remember anything about his actual dick or tongue technique—was this move he would pull where he would whip his glasses off his face mid-makeout. This was my signal that we were about to get into it, a sign that this session was officially moving from just making out to full-fledged fooling around—and yes, it was hot.

But just as I’ve since grown to learn that big dicks and men over six feet are often more trouble than they’re worth (give me a short king with a moderate-sized peen all day, thanks), I eventually realized that the only thing hotter than a bespectacled boy toy who dramatically rips his glasses off before sex is one who keeps them on during.

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It all started one night a few years ago, in bed at the St. Regis after consummating an illicit-on-multiple-levels affair with a man twice my age (long story, different story). Lying around all sweaty and disheveled in my post-coital haze, I noticed the equally sweaty and disheveled man next to me was still wearing his glasses.

“Did you keep those on the whole time?” I asked him.

“Yeah,” he said, smiling like he’d heard this before. “I like to see what I’m doing.”

The confidence sans arrogance! The matter-of-fact yet not defensive reply! The slight goofiness and endearing nerdiness of the whole thing! I was—and I do not use this word lightly—smitten.

Since that fateful night, glasses-on sex has been among my most cherished vanilla kinks (see also: prominent Adam’s apples and guys who wear necklaces, specifically religious ones, under their clothes). There’s just something about the novelty of leaving them on instead of taking them off that is surprisingly sexy in a weird-hot sorta way. Like okay, you little four-eyed freak, I kinda dig it! Also, sometimes when you call a guy out on it he’ll say something cute like, “I want to be able to see you!” Adorable! Give me glasses-on sex with a sexually confident nerd or don’t waste my time!

Anywayyy, the reason I bring this up is because it turns out I am not the only one who’s turned on by sex in specs. IDK if you’ve heard, but glasses-on sex got a shoutout in episode three of the new season of The Sex Lives of College Girls. If you don’t happen to share this particular kink, you may have missed this pivotal moment in television history entirely, so allow me to fill you in. The sometimes aggressively sex-positive Bela (Amrit Kaur) is wrapping up her latest hookup with Eric (Mekki Leeper), the nerd-hot editor of the show’s Harvard Lampoon-adjacent college comedy mag, when she references having “begged” him to keep his glasses on during. His reply? “I need to take them off when I go down on you. They get foggy, I can’t see what I’m doing.”

When I tell you I. Felt. SEEN! The whole thing was utterly endearing and a completely spot-on portrait of what *actually* makes the whole glasses-on thing so sexy. Sure, there’s the novelty and the hot nerdiness of it all (it’s like the sexy librarian thing, but for dudes). But more than that, it takes a specific kind of confidence to pull off glasses-on sex—and not the arrogant faux-confidence of a dude who uses sex as some kind of masculinity flex, but the understated, speaks-for-itself confidence that breeds authentic, enthusiastic, and sometimes downright silly sex between two people who are unapologetically down to embrace the inherent weirdness of getting all up in each others’ business and laugh about it together after.

To be clear, glasses aren’t strictly required for this kind of sex. Some of you were cursed with perfect eyesight and that’s not your fault. It’s less about the glasses than it is the embrace of sex in all its messy, awkward glory. Give me sex with quirks! Fuck me in my Kurt Vonnegut T-shirt with your glasses on and let me eat takeout in your bed after while we laugh about all the weird, in-the-moment stuff I said while you were inside of me. Listen, there’s a reason “she let me hit cause I’m goofy” is a thing.

Anyway, all this to say that if you’re a sexually confident weirdo who’s down for specs-on sex, hit me up, four-eyes.

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