You be the judge: should my boyfriend stop watching TV before bed? | Life and style

The prosecution: Charlotte

The TV feels just like the third individual within the room. Brendan will even provoke intercourse whereas a movie is enjoying

If you will have issues with sleep, you want good sleep hygiene: go to mattress on the similar time each evening, don’t work within the mattress, and no display screen time.

But my boyfriend, Brendan, says he can’t go to sleep until the TV is on. He likes to observe Scorsese and Tarantino movies earlier than mattress. There’s a great deal of noise, violence and motion coming from our TV – a big flatscreen that offers off a great deal of gentle and retains me awake.

It’s been like this since I moved in with him six months in the past. I knew he had issues with sleep earlier than; when he stayed at mine he usually wanted to hearken to a podcast earlier than mattress (I didn’t have a TV within the bed room). But since I’ve moved into his place, I’ve realised how unhealthy his sleep habits are.

I complained about it, however Brendan simply prompt I ought to use a watch masks to dam the sunshine out. I attempted that however the noise nonetheless stored me awake, even when he turned it down low, so he began utilizing earphones.

I then tried carrying my masks whereas he watched TV along with his AirPods in, nevertheless it felt ridiculous. I learn a e book as an alternative, however Brendan didn’t need me to have the sunshine on. Now I learn my Kindle with the backlight on till he falls asleep. I’ve to attend for him to nod off, then I get off the bed, flip the TV off and hold studying till I get drowsy. If I wasn’t there, Brendan would simply go away the TV on all evening.

The bed room is a sacred area. When you fall asleep with a accomplice, you anticipate to get shut and intimate, however a tv ruins that. I additionally just like the factor of play and thriller at evening, questioning if we’ll kiss once we get into mattress. But immediately I’m in a relationship the place the TV is all the time on and it looks like there’s a third individual within the room. It kills the temper. Sometimes Brendan will provoke intercourse whereas a movie is enjoying, which I discover distracting and fairly impolite. It looks like he’s making half an effort.

The mattress must be a spot to cuddle and join. Brendan must see a sleep specialist as a result of his habits are affecting our relationship and my sleep.

The defence: Brendan

Charlotte reads on her Kindle and I drift off the best way I like – I don’t see the difficulty

I’ve all the time wanted a little bit of background noise to assist me drift off to sleep, and Charlotte has all the time identified this. When I used to remain over at hers, I’d put my AirPods in and hearken to one thing earlier than mattress. She was nice with that.

But now she’s moved into my place, the place I like to observe tv in mattress earlier than sleeping. I do know individuals say publicity to synthetic gentle earlier than sleep is unhealthy for you, however there’s one thing comforting about having a movie on within the background. I discover it actually soothing and it helps me change off.

I prompt that Charlotte use a watch masks, and she or he was more than pleased to provide it a go. It appeared to work nicely for a short while – I’d flip the TV quantity down actually low, and she or he wouldn’t be affected by the sunshine as her eyes had been lined. But then she mentioned it wasn’t ok, so I provided to hearken to the TV with my headphones. Now she reads on her Kindle whereas I watch TV on my AirPods – I additionally flip the brightness down on the TV. I get to float off the best way I like. I’m not likely certain what the difficulty is.

Charlotte says she doesn’t like the concept of us doing various things in mattress, however the actuality is we will’t all the time be in sync. We each work at home so we do spend a number of time collectively. We make certain we’ve got date nights. A few occasions we did get intimate with the TV on and it appeared nice. But later Charlotte instructed me she discovered it distracting. I’ve taken that onboard, however she must be extra upfront together with her emotions on the time. I disagree that we aren’t as intimate as a result of there’s a TV within the bed room – it doesn’t have an effect on our intercourse life in any means.

We might each make extra of an effort to go to mattress earlier. Sometimes we keep up till 1am for no actual cause, although Charlotte is extra of an evening owl than me. I’m up for engaged on a greater sleep schedule, each for my very own well being and Charlotte’s. But if I nonetheless can’t sleep, the tv will simply have to return on and Charlotte can use her eye masks.

The jury of Guardian readers

Should Brendan say farewell to his all-night movies?

Brendan has a myopic, egocentric viewpoint. He ought to attempt studying comics in mattress. Scheduled intimacy is a garbage resolution. The finest intimacy is spontaneous and within the second. It ends in sleep of the very best high quality.
Graham, 56

It looks like Brendan desires oblivion to say him with out his ever having been absolutely current – both with Charlotte or alone along with his ideas. She should hold her eyes open till Tarantino has soothed Brendan to sleep, then stand up and switch the TV off: that’s unfair.
Isabel, 70

Charlotte is correct – bedrooms are for sleep and intercourse, not for watching TV. If Brendan had been conscious of Charlotte’s emotions, he would transfer the TV into the lounge and watch it there. Turn it off and develop up!
Michael, 23

Brendan is deluding himself if he thinks Scorsese and Tarantino movies are serving to him to sleep. Charlotte ought to inform him to take a sleep remedy course.
Carolyn, 77

Perhaps Brendan is struggling to adapt to somebody shifting into his area, however Charlotte additionally has wants. She’s discovered herself in a love triangle with an overexcited TV. He ought to extinguish his outdated flame and change to an iPad beside her Kindle.
Amy, 38

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You be the choose

So now you could be the choose: click on on the ballot beneath to inform us if Brendan ought to cease watching TV in mattress.

We’ll share the outcomes on subsequent week’s You be the choose.

The ballot will shut on 10 March at 10am GMT

Last week’s end result

We requested if Stewart ought to transfer the butter to the fridge, as a result of leaving it within the cabinet worries his girlfriend, Ruby.

86% of you mentioned no – Stewart is harmless
14% of you mentioned sure – Stewart is responsible

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